Define Stalker.

Can some one please tell him to stop bringing his kid to my neighbor's house every day?! I swear to God, it's like stalking me. I am very uncomfortable in my own home every morning between 7:30 and 8:05 am, and every afternoon between 3:00 and 5:30 pm.

Why the F&$%^& can't he / hasn't he found somewhere else to take his kid?!

Why the hell does he have to continue to come to MY HOUSE every damn day?!

It is really pissing me off, even more than it pissed me off when I found out some of MY closest friends and family members are still "friends" with him on Facebook!!!

I mean, I am glad he's gone, and each time I hear that kid's voice I cringe, but the fact that he's still coming around twice a day is driving me crazy!

And today he "waved" hello to Ellen?! What the heck. Hello wave to my daughter that he was so mean and hateful towards? For Christ's sake, GO AWAY man!

I don't know if he's happy, I don't care. I just hate that I wasted 5 years on this dipshit who must think it's "normal" or "healthy" or that it won't adversely affect his kid that the kid comes to my NEIGHBOR'S every day  and NOT here. To me it seems like it would be torture to that kid. It seems so ignorant and selfish of him to not GO SOMEWHERE ELSE!

When I said I wanted him gone, I meant GONE. Not "go but come to my house with your kid every morning and afternoon forever."

What do I have to do to get this moron out of my life?!

I really have no hope that I will ever find someone, that I will ever find someone good enough - who I feel good enough for. He just doesn't exist. So whatever. I just keep going every day. I am happier than when I was drowning with him and his monster here.

I just want him to GO AWAY!

When I get down about it, I feel like the loser in all of it. I try to not let that feeling last. Why does he get to torture me by coming around here, why does he get to post photos with his new ugly girlfriend? Why does he still remain friends with MY people?

It's not that I want him to be sad or suffering - I don't care. It's just so outrageously flaunted in my face that he is "fine."

Like the way he moved out SOOOOO quickly, like he couldn't wait to leave.

And how he got a new girlfriend photo up in 2 months!!!

Like he is happy to find someone new! Like he couldn't wait to get away from me!

It's some twisted mind game, like he's trying to play it that HE broke up with ME.

Like he's UNAFFECTED.

I can't NOT think about him when I have to worry about running into him AT  MY HOUSE every day twice a day!

My peace is that I KNOW I did the right thing. There is no way I could have lasted another day with them here. It was changing me and I hated them.

When mom died it changed me.

And his friggin drama kept me from really experiencing that, delayed it, made it back burner. Because he could not stand to not be in the spotlight all the time. And if I needed - if I needed anything, he was incapable of giving - unless it put him in the spotlight.

He made such a point to avoid looking at his own issues and instead looking at mine, it just became more nad more obvious how deep seated his issues are.

Why I always went for the guy who was wounded?

No more. I'd rather be alone than in that situation again.  I have my own issues -- and every time I fall for the wounded guy, I avoid healing myself.

Must.
Heal.
Thyself.
Now.

I feel like I'm reaching out for help and it's stupid to need it and I should get over it and not need help and that people are too wrapped up with their own issues to really listen or care about mine.

If I'm so "great" like people have always told me, then why am I still alone, single, no one calling, no one pursuing me, no one worthy...?

Why can't I just scream at him, "STOP COMING TO MY HOUSE EVERY DAY, FIND SOMEWHERE ELSE TO TAKE YOUR KID, YOU'RE CREEPY AND SELFISH AND CRUEL AND IGNORANT AND SCARY! LEAVE ME BE! GO AWAY! DON'T COME AROUND HERE NO MORE!"